the_sexy_quinn: (slick)
Considering the ease with which I've been able to let go of people and things in the past, I find it surprising that I'm having a really hard time letting something go right now. I didn't think about it for months because I've been so happy with Tom, and I assumed that I would eventually hear something. But I didn't and now I'm feeling a bit fucked over. And I hate it.

I know what it is. In the past, I've dropped friends on my own terms. I've never been dropped and it sucks. I know it's most likely a big karmic slap in the face, but that doesn't mean I have to like it.

It's been suggested that I seek out the guilty party and try to settle things, but, you know what? If he can't give a shit about saying one word to me after everything he shared with me, then fuck him. I don't need to worry about it. I guess I'm just too rotten to deserve any friends. Whatever.

I'm moving on. I'm moving past it.

I hope his new girlfriend dumps him.
the_sexy_quinn: (a bit of a smile)
Dev was whistling. In all the years he'd been alive, he couldn't remember ever whistling because he was in a good mood. It always seemed like such a trite thing for someone to do, and he'd sworn that it could never be a genuine display of one's happiness. There he was, though, puttering around his kitchen and making himself a sandwich for lunch on a gorgeous Saturday afternoon, whistling. The tune was a song he'd heard on the radio that morning while he'd been showering. A love song about a man who made the singer feel like a natural woman. It was a favorite of his mother's, but he'd never really paid much mind to it before.

He grinned to himself and softly sang, "Before the day I met you...life was so unkind..." Then laughed as he said aloud to the empty room, "But I'm not a woman, natural or otherwise, so that will not be Tom's and my song."

With those words he managed to make himself blush. He had a lover with whom he wanted to share a song. What had previously been considered by him to be a most pedestrian urge was now something of which he could see the appeal.

"Oh, baby, what you've done to me..." he sang, then laughed. "Okay," he said, clearing his throat, "that's enough of that." He was used to talking to himself, but never about something that had the ability to make him smile so much.

"You make me feel so good inside..." This time he had to giggle because he couldn't seem to stop himself. "Tom, if you could see me now," he murmured, a sudden warm feeling reaching from the top of his head down to the tips of his toes as he thought about the man who was currently making him one very happy lovestruck puppy.

Even though the object of his affection was out of town, aiding some friends with a family emergency, Dev couldn't help feeling as if Tom were right there with him. He missed him, certainly, but the absolute knowledge that Tom loved him made the separation somehow easier to bear.

His sandwich complete, he cut it in half and went to sit down on the couch to eat. He hummed as he chewed, wondering if Tom was thinking about him at that moment, and, if he was, whether or not he was humming a song, too.
the_sexy_quinn: (rumpled in a suit)
There was one thing Dev Spencer Quinn had learned from a young age. You could never trust people to mean what they said. His first experience with this had been when a playmate of his had told him that Dev couldn't come over to his house because he was sick. Dev later found out that his friend had simply wanted to play with someone else and didn't want Dev around. His mother and father had told him that they'd always keep him safe. When his father's friend had taken advantage of him, that had been proven to not be true. Similiar incidents continued to occur over the course of his life until he had learned that the best thing he could do was be prepared to be betrayed or lied to. It was hard at first to not be able to trust anyone, but as he grew older, he became accustomed to it. Even if someone did act as if they could be trusted, Dev would still hold back for fear of being let down or hurt as time went by. It might have been a good way for him to guard his heart, but it was a horrible way to live.

No one could ever tell him this, though.
the_sexy_quinn: (half a face)
"I never promised you anything."

The look you gave me when I said that to you held more passion in it than anything I'd seen before in your eyes. I wondered where all that emotion had been when you'd had me in your bed. Maybe it would have been enough to keep me interested.

"I know you didn't." The small sniff that followed made you sound pathetic, and I had to turn away. "I just thought..."

"There's your problem," I said, looking around the bedroom in vain for the lighter you'd bought for me. It was probably lost and that was probably for the best. "You started thinking about me as someone you'd want around for a while." I fixed my gaze on you once more. "That's your own fault."

"Dev, please...don't go."

I might have been all right if I hadn't seen the lone tear that trickled down your cheek as you started to beg me to stay. Seeing you that way was the final nudge I needed to break things off completely. I'd decided a long time ago that I wasn't going to cry over anyone. I expected nothing less from everyone else.