6.1 Letter of complaint

September 15, 2006

To the idiots responsible for those Carl's Jr commercials where the girl eats like a pig:

Do you really think men find that sexy? Watching a young, attractive, thin woman sit in her semi (because hot chicks always drive big rigs) and down her salad with the vigor usually reserved for orally servicing a football team is not hot in any way.

All right, I might be able to understand where you're coming from, but another concern is with the fact that the women who usually patronize your restaurants do NOT look like that. And even if they did, if I ever saw a female eating that way, I'd wonder if she was some sort of wild child who speaks in a patois of nonsensical words and grunts like the character Jodie Foster played in "Nell."

I am a progressive young man who finds your use of cheap, tawdry pandering to the cavemen who make up most of the male population in this country to be insulting and ridiculous. Give the rest of us some credit, all right? I might own a few "Girls Gone Wild" DVDs, but that does not make me a Neanderthal who gets off on watching Paris Hilton writhe all over a

Wait. Okay, I liked that one. But that's all!

Now, despite my objections and because I'm stoned and that damn salad looked really good, I am heading to your closest location to partake.

Damn you, Carl's Jr! Damn you!

Sincerely,
D.S. Quinn
Los Angeles, CA